It takes hands to build a house, but only hearts can build a home.

Author Unknown

Sunday, April 05, 2009

Chapter 4, Page 5, Book 09

This is very very long but well worth the read!
A time comes in your life when you finally get it . .
When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere, the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying, or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes, you begin to look at the world through new eyes.
This is your awakening...

You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world, there aren't always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you and in the process, a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.
You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are . . . and that's OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.) And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself and in the process, a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.
You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.
You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it's not always about you. So, you learn to
stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process, a sense of safety & security is born of self-reliance.
You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties and in the process, a sense of peace & contentment is born of forgiveness.
You realize that much of the way you view yourself and the world around you, is a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche.. You begin to sift through all the junk you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look and how much you should weigh, what you should wear and where you should shop and what you should drive, how and where you should live and what you should do for a living, who you should marry and what you should expect of a
marriage, the importance of having and raising children or what you owe
your parents. You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.
You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with and in the process, you learn to go with your instincts.
You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive and that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.
You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated deals of a by gone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.
You learn that you don't know everything; it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and
learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.
Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name.
You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes.
You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love; and you
learn that you don't have the right to demand love on your terms, just to make you happy..
You learn that alone does not mean lonely. You look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over how you "stack up."
You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK and that it is your right, to want things and to ask for the things that you want and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands. You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't settle for less. You allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you, to glorify you with his touch and in the process, you internalize the meaning of self-respect.
And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and taking more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear. So you take more time to rest. Just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul; so you take more time to laugh and to play.
You learn that for the most part in life, you get what you believe you deserve and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen, is different from working toward making it happen.
More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone and that it's OK to risk asking for help.
You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time; FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears,because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give into fear, is to give away the right to live life on your terms.
You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions, you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers; it's just life happening.
You learn to deal with evil in its most primal state; the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.
You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted; things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about; a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself, by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart's desire. You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind, and you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.
Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.


I hope you enjoy seeing some of the pictures I took of my family yesterday. I put them over on the side bar as it is much easier for me to do it that way. We had a great time and I’m so thankful to my DD for having us all there. We had DS#1, DS#3, DS#5, DS#6 and DD and all their families plus 6 of the grand dogs too. Not everyone is pictured as I just tried to pick out some of the highlights of the day. The weather was really great for us this time of year and we got out doors with no problem.

As I do every Sunday I’ll be off to church this morning and will be praying for all of you today. I hope your Sunday is blessed with lots of R & R.


Grandparents and grandchildren,

Together they create
A chain of love
Linking the past
With the future.
The chain may lengthen,
But it will never part.
On Ya’-ma


BlueRidge Boomer said...

Another great entry.....!!


Hollie said...

What a wonderful entry. This entry hit every step on the road, & it was filled very inspiring always. Thanks for all the wonderful & inspiring information you put into your blog for us....I'm finally at many of those points in my life.

Your photos are great. Thanks for sharing with us. It looks like everyone had a wonderful time. I love the fact that the adults got to share in the pinata fun.

Have a blessed day!

Scrappy quilter said...

I so enjoyed the pictures of your gathering yesterday. Wonderful family pictures. Have a great day.

Kathy said...

What an excellent post. I loved it. I also enjoyed seeing the pictures of your Easter celebration. How wonderful that the weather cooperated for the day. Enjoy your Sunday and Bless you... said...

Love the pictures..Your grandkids are are so blessed.
Enjoy your sunday.

Kath said...

I have many things to learn as yet Ma as old as I am.A very interesting and inspiring post.The pictures are wonderful and I couldn't stop laughing at the children running out so eagerly to find the eggs LOL!! How I love to see children enjoy themselves.Seems you grown ones had a good time too He-He.Thankyou for us all the fun you had.The girls look so pretty in there Easter Bonnets.What a lovely pup Ds3 have.I am so happy you all had such a wonderful day.Have a lovely afternoon and evening.Take Care God Bless Kath xx

Bookncoffee said...

Wow what a powerful entry and most likely some part of it will help every one of us by reading it. Blessed we are to have you as a friend to share this information.

So...did you write that? Or did you find it? It's really good!!!!

Hope your day is going well and that you get to have the fun weekend that you want ----camping! Will be fun for you to think about that all week.