It takes hands to build a house, but only hearts can build a home.

Author Unknown

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Chapter 11, Page 23, Book 08

My dear family and friends,

I’m so sorry I just cannot send out my regular newsletter or make an entry like I usually do in my journals today.

Yesterday was a day full of sorrow and tears for me and for my family.

I find it very difficult to even write the words down.

Saturday morning I received a call from a paramedic that was at DS#3’s house. He said that something had happened there and that the family requested that I come there to be with them as soon as I could get there.

My first thought was that maybe they had the wrong number or that it was some kind of prank call but I did see on my caller ID that the call was being made from my son’s house. I told the man that I would be there as quickly as I could but that I lived some distance away so it would take time for me to get there.

You cannot imagine what went through my head at the time. I quickly called DD and DS#5 who live the closest to me and asked if they would come with me. They quickly got dressed and were at my house in a matter of minutes and we were off; and did not know at all what we would find out when we got there.

DSIL drove and made record time across the Ohio Turnpike. Our guardian angels were with us as he wasn’t stopped by the Highway Patrol and we did make it there safe and sound.

The worst fear of every parent had happened. During the night my darling little 2 year old grand son had died. The death of a child is so unthinkable, so incomprehensible that the shock of this news will remain in my mind and heart forever.

The effects of a child's death are forever. There aren't words in the English language to describe what happens to a family when a child dies. There's nothing you can say or do to fix the situation.

There is no bond greater than the bond between parent and child. When a child dies, the pain of parental loss is near the top of the scale of human grief

Loss and grief, just like joy and celebration, are part of life but it is so very difficult to accept. It’s like your worse nightmare that never ends.

I grieve for my son and daughter-in-law suffering this tragic loss and my grief is compounded as I suffer my son’s and his wife’s pain at the loss of their son and I grieve for a beloved grandchild.

As a grandparent who has outlasted a grandchild, I struggle with a death that seems so out of order. Some times we justify death of an older person, knowing that they lived a full and good life, but this little baby was just beginning life.

Our family will all unite to create a circle of unwavering support as they always do. In good times and bad they are there for each other. One thing I know for sure, maybe two. With love you can endure just about anything and I do know that they all love each other very much. DS#3 and his wife’s loss is just as much our loss too.

Please keep my son and his wife and their two other children in your prayers. May our dear Lord comfort them and give them strength. It is just so hard for all of us right now.

And please pray for the safety of my family as they travel with heavy hearts. The journey home for Thanksgiving will not be what we had planned.

May my sweet little grandson rest in peace and may the perpetual light our Lord and Savior shine upon him.

The Broken Cord

We little knew that morning that God
Was going to call your name
In life we loved you dearly,
In death we do the same
It broke our hearts to lose you,
You did not go alone;
For part of us went with you
The day God called you home
You left us peaceful memories
Your loves is still our guide;
And though we cannot see you
You are always at our side.
Our family chain is broken,
And nothing seems the same
But as God calls us, one by one,
The chain will link again.

Author Unknown but deeply expressed by me.

‘On Ya’-ma


Jan said...

Oh Pam, my dear Pam as you say there arent words at this time ....I cant begin to imagine how you are feeling right now ,but know that my prayers and love are with you and your family at this sad time Jan xx

Hollie said...

I'm sitting here ...& I don't know what to say except I am so sorry for your loss! It just breaks my heart....I will be praying for strength & comfort for you all...

Linda said...

Oh my dear, I am crying as I read this. I am so sorry for your loss. Please know that you and all of your family are in thoughts and prayers. Linda

ADB said...

I don't really know how to respond properly, except to extend my heartfelt condolences on your loss - your meaning you and extended family, particularly the parents. Any death is a sad event, but one so young I cannot begin to imagine how you must all feel.


Kathy said...

Please accept my small, but sincere expression of sympathy. I have no words for you, but I can offer my prayers for your family and for your grandson. May he rest in peace.

Jeanne said...

I cannot even begin to imagine the pain and heartache that you and your family are going through. Please know that all of you are in my thoughts and prayers.


Carol said...

Don't know what to say other than you will be in my thoughts and prayers at this terrible time.
God Bless.

Debbie said...

My deepest sympathy to you and your family. My heart goes out to each of you as you suffer the pain of grief. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

D said...

Oh.... I am so very sorry for your loss. I can't find the words to comfort at this moment but please know you and your family are held close to my heart and in my prayers. May strength find you all.

Joan said...

Dear Pam, I am lost for words today I just don't know what to say that would help you. I will pray for you and your family I am just so sorry and so sad. Love Joan.

Sage Ravenwood said...

There are no words to comfort this loss dear friend. I can't imagine what must be going through your heart. I'm keeping you and your family in my prayers on the smoke, during this time of delicate sorrow. Your in my thoughts and heart hon. My heart is crying for you at this moment, this loss, this life. (Hugs)Indigo

Joan said...

Dear Pam, I just don't not know what to say that could possibly be of any help at this very sad time. Your family will all be in my prayers just feel so heart broken for you. Love Joan.

Linda's World said...

I heard about your loss thru the "Call for Support" blog. What a tragedy for the whole family. My thoughts and prayers are with you all as you sort thru this. The precious little one is now safe in the arms of Jesus, but leaves behind a whole grieving family. May our Heavenly Father wrap his tender arms around all of you at this sad time. Linda in Washington state

Alice said...

No words can ever be enough to say how sorry I am for your family's loss.....

Arlene (AJ) said...

My heart is aching for all of you, you're in my special thoughts and heart dear. Bless you all.

Sugar said...

Please accept my condolences for your profound loss.
We shiuld never lose our children or grandchildren, my heart is full of sadness for you.
Know that prayers are going up for the parents & ALL the family, as he rest in the arms of an angel.
There are no words to console you.
God bless...

Ally Lifewithally said...

Dear Pam there are no words that can express my sorrow at your sad loss ~ keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers Ally x

Donna. W said...

I'm so sorry. God bless you and your family in this time of grief.

garnett109 said...

We are sorry for your loss our thoughts and prayers are out for you and your family

Trish said...

I am so sorry to hear about your grandson. I know it must be really hard for you and your family.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Take care,

Chrissie a.k.a. HoneyB said...

I haven't met you or visited your journal before, but I know we do have common friends and I was directed here by Sugar.
I am in tears at the moment. I have only one grandchild and he is 3.5yo and is the light of my life and could not imagine my life without him, so my heart aches at your family's loss.
There are no words to make things better. I will pray for your son and his family and for your extended family too.
That was a beautiful poem.
Bless you all, Chrissie

Dannelle said...

Love and prayers to all. The worst loss imaginable, a child- we grieve with you. Dannelle

Christy said...

I'm praying for you and all of your family as you grieve the loss of your grandson. You're right there are no words in the English language. My 2 yr old daughter died 8 yrs ago (from AML leukemia). I pray you all feel God's comfort, love, and compassion.

Praying for you all

Kathy said...

I can't begin to express the way I feel right now. Whatever I say will not be enough so just know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Paula said...

Came here by way of Mosie to offer my love and sympathy.

Beth said...

Pam, I am so sorry to hear of this tragic loss in your family. There is no sense to be made of such a sad occurrence, and we can never know such things until we pass through that veil ourselves.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your entire family during this time. Please be well and I hope all travel safely.

Much love,

Chris/cacklinrosie101 said...

No words any of us say can possibly override the grief. Know that you and your son and family are in the thoughts, prayers and hearts of "JLanders."

Carlene Noggle said...

oh Dear Lord......I just am at a loss for words....I don't know anything to say that will help...except I am praying hard for you and your family... I wish I were there so I at least could offer a hug, and a shoulder to cry on...and help you any way I could.I am so deeply sorry for your tradgic loss of this baby.

Anonymous said...

This is so very sad. My condolences and prayers go out to all of you. I cannot imagine the pain you are going through right now. Take care and God's speed. said...

Someone once told me who had lost her son, that you think it hurts when you bring them into this world but when they leave it the pain is a thousand times worse. Those words never left me. It was hard losing my parents. I feel so sad for your family.
I am so sorry dear friend. It breaks my heart even though we have never met, to read of your loss.
God bless you and your family.
Love, Cassie

Cindi said...

I'm so truly sorry for your family's loss, words can never express prayers are with you!

Estela said...

Dear Pam,

Please accept my deepest sympathy on the loss of your grandson. I, too, am a grandmother to a 3 year old and to lose him would be beyong comprehension.

My prayers will be with you and your extended family.

Estela in South TX

Missie said...

No words can express how sorry I feel for you and your family right now.

Ken Riches said...

Pam, I am so sorry for your loss, my prayers go out to your family, and to you. Such a tragic loss.

Lori J said...

My Dear "Ma" As I started my journal on grieving my heart is so heavy as I have just heard about you grandson.
I too can not begin to express to you my thoughts but know you will all be in my prayers.

"Isaiah tells us The Lord has sent me to bind up the comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve.

Dear One....may you rest in the Almighty arms and share your tears with one who truly understand.

Love Albera LORI

Lynne said...

I think you included the appropriate verses for such a tragic time. My heart and prayers, and sincere condolences go out to you and yours!

betty said...

I am so sorry; May the Lord comfort you all through your grieving and may you find his peace; you will be in my prayers


Rose said...

Words are poor things when we suffer the loss of a loved one. Still I want to convey my desire, however inadequate, to offer consolation.

Please accept my deepest sympathy for you and your family in your bereavement for this little darling child.

Hugs, Rose

Sandra said...

oh that is so very very sad.... i will pray that God be with you especially now.... Love

Sandra said...

you and your family are in my prayers.... God Bless you and your whole family,Pam

Pamela said...

I am so sorry for you and your family right now. Please accept my condolences. I will be keeping you and your family in my prayers.
Hugs and love,

Joann said...

Pam, I'm SO VERY sorry for the loss of your grandson. There are just no words to express the sadness of losing a child so young, it brought tears to read your words. My heartfelt prayers are with the family, now, for comfort in their memories and in the knowledge that he is with them in their hearts.

Adirondackcountrygal said...

Oh, I am so so sorry. My heart is breaking. It is incomprehensible to hear of the sudden death of a little one. May God bless your family and you at this time of grief. Linda

Robin said...

I am so so sorry...I believe there is a very special place in heaven for children. My family and I will keep you all in our prayers.

M said...

I am so sorry for your loss.

Please know that I am praying for ALL of you.

Again, I am so so sorry.

God bless you all.



Lainey Laine said...

Dear, dear Pam I am so very very sorry. I only just found out about your beautiful Grandson. My heart goes out to you and your family. Laine xxxxx

cw2smom said...

I am so terribly sad and sorry about this awful situation that your family is dealing with at this time! You will all be in my thoughts and prayers! With love and sympathy! Lisa

Carolina said...

Coming from Sugars site, I am so so very sorry for your loss, my heart goes out to you and your family-With Deepest Sympathy,Carolina

Joyce said...

My heart broke to read this...and my prayers go out to your family and to you...I am so very sorry...many hugs and love to you my friend...

Lori said...

I am so very, very sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine the grief and pain you and your family are going through right now. Please know you are in my thoughts.

Linda :) said...

I just can't believe it... I am so sorry and so saddened by this news... You and your family are so very special to me...
Sending all my love and always special thoughts...

Heather said...

I just know that God loves you... and I know he loves your family... and He wouldn't have allowed this without their being something to come from this. It's seems hard to sacrifice this life... but find good in it... find the joy... find the Jesus in this time... be the strength for those who love you and look up to you. Myprayers are with you, sweet, dear, lady. God is good.


Pat said...

Dear Pam,
I just read your entry and I am still stunned at hearing of your
grandson's passing. Precious one, your words have so often lifted my
spirits. I wish I could say some
to ease your pain, but only God in
His infinite mercy can do that. I
will pray for you and yours, because the little one is already
Home in the arms of Jesus. In
Christian love, Pat

Janie said...

Oh I am so sorry about this. I scrolled down and saw this. Did not receive word from anyone. You are all in my prayers. I agree that it is soooo hard with a child. We just never know from one day to the next so we just have to live one day at a time. I am sure that it is going to be so hard for all of you at this holiday season. Yes, it just seems unreal and unfair but have to trust that God does know what He is doing. Praying that He will hold ALL of you in His arms so you can indure the pain of your loss. Love, hugs, and prayers, Janie

AGirlNexDoorCreation said...

I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your angel baby...I can not even come to think of words to say...I will be praying for you all..hugs,TerryAnn