It takes hands to build a house, but only hearts can build a home.

Author Unknown

Tuesday, July 14, 2020

Chapter 7, Page 14, Book 20

Know first, judge later.

Author Unknown 

July 14th - judge not, lest you be judged

Surprises are everywhere in life.  And they usually come from misjudging people for being less than they appear.

Brownell Landrum

We all have a tendency to judge others by the standards we have set for ourselves.  But it is impossible to do that because we are each so unique and different.  What is good for one isn’t always good for another person.  

Some of us measure our lives through money and accolades.  Others through beauty and popularity.  Others measure it through family and relationships.  Still others through service and good deeds. Chances are. you measure it through some combination of all these things and  they will determine your happiness  more than others.

What ever you measure yourself for you will measure others by the same standards. The yardstick we use for ourselves is the yardstick we use for the world.   There are traits I wouldn’t  tolerate in myself, therefore I don’t tolerate it from others.  It’s a choice we all make.

It’s a big part of our development to recognize that everyone has the own measure.  And likely it’s not going to be ours. That is simply part of being human. Accepting others that measure the world differently than you do is one of the most important steps choosing the right relationships for yourself.  It’s necessary for developing boundaries and deciding who you want to be a part of your life.

We may not accept a persons behaviors but we must accept that we cannot change a persons values for them. We must choose our own for ourselves and by ourselves, They must do it for themself and by themselves.

I’ve never been a good judge of others when I first meet them.  I have to get to know them for awhile before I can form a true opinion.  Over the years, I try to judge less and and less and just try to be a friend to all.  We really don’t know someone until we can walk in their shoes.  

If you judge people you have no time to love them.

Mother Teresa


I'm mostly known as 'MA' said...

When we accept others as themselves we have more room to love them.

betty said...

So true, Ma, we need to measure ourselves and try not to judge others. I've said it before but I always try to remember that I don't know what others are going through and they are just trying to do the best with what they have to work with.


Chatty Crone said...

It is so hard to not judge - but I work on it. It is hard to forgive some times too - but I work on that too! I am a work in progress.

Martha@SeasideSimplicity said...

I am not a good judge of others right away either, definitely takes time. My hubby on the other hand pegs people from the start and turns out he is usually right in the long run!

Mevely317 said...

"The yardstick we use for ourselves is the yardstick we use for the world." I sure like that!
I believe judging others is an unconscious - but reflexive - habit. Kind of like a fight-or-flight. But as you've pointed out, I need to temper my own reactions with a mental walk in their shoes.

Rick Watson said...

I love Mother Teresa’s quote. It is so true.

jack69 said...

That first quote is so true.
I think Myra hit something. Judging is a reflex and we must fight ourselves each time. some of us slip at times, and end up with as they say, "Egg on our face!"
Sherry & jack