It takes hands to build a house, but only hearts can build a home.

Author Unknown

Monday, February 13, 2012

Chapter 2, Page 13, Book 12

Before you speak, it is necessary for you to listen, for God speaks in the silence of the heart.

Mother Teresa


In my lifetime I've seen and heard and been a part of many arguments.  Being a person who always had a short fuse, I know how easy it is to let off steam and say things before we think.  Most misunderstandings start that way.  I was very blessed to have a husband that refused to argue with me.  He would let me stamp my feet and sputter and groan til you thought the house might fall down, but he would never say a word.  Bless his soul, he was a good man.  I think most of my children take after their dad too.  They tend to quietly sit back and rarely argue either.

Although my hubby didn't argue he was very good at discussing things with me and he let me know time and again that I was never to assume he knew what I was talking about either.  I literally had to spell things out for him sometimes before he understood what on earth had upset me so much.  And by the time I'd cooled down enough to discuss things with him, most of what I'd thought was a huge problem simple solved itself.

A lot of research has been done on problem resolution. Experts say that we need to avoid blame and name calling.  We should stay away from absolute statements like always YOU never...or YOU always.  But first and foremost they say DON'T let the discussion matter more than your relationship.

Relationships with a husband, family or friends are such precious gifts, that we never want to damage them beyond repair.

I once knew a very stubborn brother and sister that quit speaking to each other for more than 30 years and never resolved their problems.  Each of them dying before they could make up.  Now I'm praying that in heaven they have found peace with each other.  

Remember:  There is no right or wrong person in an argument.  There's just a need for great understanding and greater forgiveness.

There are certainly no arguments going on around my house today,  I refuse to argue with myself, but I DO laugh a lot at myself.

Have a merry Monday everyone!

'On Ya'-ma


jack69 said...

Okay, now that you have opened that part of you, probably in excess, we are all surprised.

NOT MA! I cannot imagine you with a short fuse. LOL
Love your last statement:

There are certainly no arguments going on around my house today, I refuse to argue with myself, but I DO laugh a lot at myself.....

Yeah, I have learned to do that, 'Laugh a lot at myself, after I get mad at myself cfor doing something very stupid.'

Happy Valentines day to you Sweet lady, up in Ohio........


I know exactly what you are talking about, MA. Short fuses can cause alot of frustration. Once upon a time I had one too. But somewhere along the way, I changed and began to just let my anger go, silently. Your husband sounded like a wonderful listener. That is exactly what you need in those tense situations. My husband in all the years I've known him NEVER says the words I'm sorry in any dispute. So it's simply NOT worth fighting. LOL take care.

Hollie said...

it is necessary for you to listen, for God speaks in the silence of the heart

The above statement is something I need to practice more of. Like you were talking, I'm a little hot headed at times. After thinking the situation through like you said it almost always solves itself.

I'm not arguing with myself either. Have a great evening!

Kath said...

I like Jack69 loved the last line of your post re:- I laugh a lot at myself.I do too Ma,well one kind of has to, when you are alone many hours LOL!!I used to have a short fuse, but it seems to be much calmer in my latter years.My Rooster will not argue,he is a silence man at these times,which blows my fuse.I cannot take silence,as the saying goes.Silence is loud.Good post today Ma,and you suprized me too having a short fuse.YOU NEVERit takes some believeing Heeee.Have a lovely day.Take Care God Bless and Much Love to you Ma for tomorrow."Happy Valentines Day " Early.Take Care God Bless Kath xxx

JeanJournal said...

I'm mostly a quiet and gentle and listening person...and if someone is unkind to me...I let things go on along...for awhile...but I will eventually tell them that I am gonna be Jean...and do what i want to...and that I don't try to change trying to get them to be like me...and ...I leave them alone, and we change the subject...or we stay apart for awhile. I don't scream or holler at people...but when my husband was alive(of course we argued at times...neither one of us was "perfect"...)He was mostly the one who would do something sweet 'to make up' ~ Cw & I both loved the Lord and knew we would have to ask God's forgiveness before we went to was good and ALL (THE GOOD & BAD) was well with us MOST OF THE TIME ~ I like the Mother Teresa quote. ~ HAPPY VALENTINE DAY on Tuesday and dear ma, Thanks for your daily thoughts to us. ~ Jean(Rome Georgia Girl living in Calhoun.

grammy said...

My husband is a ... quiet man... and I use to be a yeller and cryer ... I think I just wanted an answer... some emotion. I have changed a lot. Mellowed with years (o:
He talks more... still would never yell (o:

Buttercup said...

I've got a short fuse, too. I've been working on doing better with this and have made great progress in the last thirty years, but I know I will be working on it as long as I live.
Hugs and happiness wishes for Valentine's Day!